London set, Paris Match

Deconstructing the style of the Eurotrash

Here are some things they have never contemplated:

• Turning those curls into a crop. crop's are for poor people and prisoners.
• That pasty could be cool, pasty doesn't exist in Euro-land.
• That rich isn't the only way to look.
• That big isn't the only size for watches.
• Adopting any kind of denim mode that twists, flares or is designed to look as if it's falling of your arse. Eurotrash has always favoured the straight-legged classic jean, with minor detailing changes from year to year.
• The trainer as a way of life.
• The notion that blazer and jeans isn't always the mix of choice.
• Odd combinations generally.

The Fresh Prince of Eurotrash look never really changes. There are always this year's crucial shades and significant watches, but the key themes - the sleeked - back curly hair, the pure gold Grade-A tan, the perfect conker-coloured loafers worn without socks, the palette of navy and olive, pink and white - are eternal.

So next time i see you at the Cinema en Plein-Air in Menton (for those not in the know, that is next door to Monaco) or sailing my new Wally in Cape-Martin, i expect you to be well dressed.